I'm Okay, I Swear

Please don't leave me
I'm not ready to part
Break the inevitable
Before it does my heart

These days are cold without you
And the nights i spend awake
The little times i see you
I have a ready smile to fake

Remember when we were so close
When we'd share what we needed to
Those are the days i wish would come back
If i could find a way back to you

And everything we took for granted then
Is coming back to haunt me now
I want to get our memories back
But i just don't know how

I'm lost, I'm so confused
and worse i cant remember
the good, the bad, the ugly
are all leaving me to December

but this is my month
my only time in the year
where the weather might kill my heart
and freeze each awaiting tear

Think if i could only tell you this
if i knew the words to say
to make you listen once and for all
but I've ruined it before this way

I've finally learned my lesson
no one wants to hear of my pain
and that's why I'm shameful and hiding
even though i open the scars on my vein

even though the razors begging
and my wrists are burning to be free
i tell them both to be quiet
because no one can know the real me

that's why i told you I'll smile
'cuz i see in your eyes you don't care
I'm just an old toy now, and when you ask
ill tell you, "I Okay, I Swear"

You may not believe me at first
And for a second you'll persist
But once i say it again, you'll just sigh
Not once glancing at my wrist

And inside ill cry and laugh
Cuz i won but it feels like loosing
and when I'm high on my pills again
ill laugh at the new scars I'm producing

maybe one day my secret will be out
maybe then you'll really care
but for now ill hide my wrists
And keep saying, "I'm Okay, I Swear"

{wonder who i'm trying to convince}

....saw that phrase on an icon and i wrote this...sooo yeah, it was very...me i guess...dedicated to an old friend, who probably wont see this and probably wont get it...

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