Blood stained landscape

I look through the windows all dark and smeared,
Looking out onto the things Ive always feared.
I can feel my petrified heart beat,
Trying not to suffer another defeat.

They say my minds disturbed,
That its also perturbed.
Just because when I look through the glass,
All I see is blood stained grass.

The worlds troubles are locked deep in my mind,
My thoughts and feelings all unrefined.
I look out onto this red landscape,
And I can only see a dreamscape.

I see a man all dressed in white,
Standing in blood in the dead of the night,
He stands still but always grins,
Releasing evil thoughts and sins.

I shut my eyes to block out the pain,
But the blood boils inside my vein.
The horrors follow me into my mind
Stinging my eyes, making me blind.

Im lost forever in my head,
And I rrealise was me who had bled.
I look down at the knife in my hands
At the gash in my wrist that expands.

I cant be lost if Im not alive,
This is one battle I will not survive.