Why Am I Like This?

I hate myself for what I've become,
All I've said, all I've done.
The times I cried nd tears I wept,
The lies I told and secrets I kept.

I can no longer pretend to be something I'm not.
I can no longer pretend I forgave and forgot.
All these emotions just make me scream,
I can't keep living from dream to dream.

I can't believe I'm letting life go by,
Crying over some stupid guy.
I said I would never do anything like this,
Everyone is right when they say ignorance is bliss.

I would've been fine if I didn't know,
Know you've always loved her so.
Know that you lie and cheat,
All these truths make my heart weak.

Tell me, why did you break my heart?
Why didn't you stop before the start?
Why do you insist on making me cry?
Why do I constantly wish to die?

These are questions I don't know the answer to,
So I will hand this poem to you.
Maybe you'll know why my life is sadness and doubt,
Maybe you'll know how to figure this out.