How Can I?

I have worked so very hard to carve out a life of my own
Standing tall refusing to bend on matters of principle
Refusing to sell my honor and dignity for any price
Making decisions with what others call foolish pride
In total control of my life not along for the ride

Lately I have lost control of my life
Each day shamelessly giving away pieces of me
Sacrificing my heart and soul unable to say no
Life has gotten so out of control
I no longer feel as if I am whole

How long can I survive giving myself away?
My heart is breaking this cold dark night
I am lost within myself and cannot find my way out
All I ask is to no longer feel this painful love
Or have it returned guided from above

Once again forsaken by our lord and savior
Left to wander the earth in soulful pain
Karmic punishment for a life I once did lead
All of this past pain I created settling in my heart
Shredding and pulling the essence of my soul apart

It needs to come to an end in the near future
There is only so much a man can take
The last twelve months an adventure from hell
Losing so much from my simple life
Heart broken and filled with strife