Losing him

I LOVE him!!!! I'm letting it out now. But, I actually think I'm IN love with him.
It's funny, I had my chance and I blew it
. I love him so much!!!!
I want to tell him but I don't think I can.

How does SHE do it?
It's probably because she is so pretty.
It hurts me so much to see him and her together because I know she loves him and he will love her soon.

This is no crush.
I've cried about him.
Sixth grade was my favorite year because of him. If he wasn't there then 6th grade would of been the worst year I've ever had.

I still love him, ever though it's been a year.
He was THE ONE for me.
My heart is broken, I'm now in tears, I wish he could read this but I'm too afraid to tell him. I don't think he ever cares about me anymore.

While he talks to HER on aim I await for his answer but there is not one, and there never will be.
He doesn't even know I exist anymore.
I remember all of the good memories of him. And there are probably hundreds.

SHE thinks she loves him, I know I'm IN love with him.

I wish he was reading this right now.
I wish somehow this was sent to him.
But my body won't let me press that button even though my heart wants me too.

He has no idea about this.
He thought I hated him in 6th grade when it was the exact opposite.
I loved him with all my heart.
And I would do anything to get him back.

There are even times when I think about ending it all. Ending my pain.
But that would cause others so much more pain.
Not him.

When I pass by him I may look like I don't notice him, but I do.
He's the first thing I notice.The rest of the room looks empty to me when he is there.
But when ever I go past him I feel so invisible.

SHE doesn't feel this way because I know she never wrote anything like this before.
I feel so stupid, trying to compete with her. She's beautiful.
I'm not
.
Her friend is pretty too.
He likes both of them.
I want to let him go, along with all the memories of him, but I can't.
No matter how hard I try.

I try to think of the bad memories of him, but it just makes me like him more.
I truly love him. I wish someday in the halls he would walk by me and I would be brave enough to tell him.

I almost did at the last day of school but his brother was next to him
. If those six words (will you go out with me?) were to ever exit his mouth I would've said yes so fast.

I never told anyone that I liked him because my friends always made fun of him.
They had no idea how funny he was.
No one did. I was the only girl to really understand him.

I'm begging my heart to just forget him.
To forget all those memories.

UNLESS he still remembers me.
Then I would gladly tell him.
I'd tell him everything I ever thought about him.

All I need is one little bit of proof he still remembers me.
One glance, one smile, one word, and I'll be satisfied again.