Sleepless

Sleepless, clueless, thinking again..
Reminisce, think back, where you really that good,
Where you really worth all this and all that?
I'd like to think that you where,
Even though that leaves me here again, in tears,
Thinking, hoping, wishing you'd come back..

Another sleepless night looking out into the snow,
Watching those sad streetlights silently glow..
How long will this feeling last and how bad will it get?
Has it reached its peak or is it slumbering in sleep,
Waiting for the right moment to explode.

Personally I'm losing faith and losing hope,
It feels like I've been sitting in a sinking boat,
Watching the water sip in so slow,
Watching the smallest hole just grow.

This is a confession I guess,
A way to get a bit of weight of my chest,
Maybe the people who only see my smile,
Should sit back for a moment or a while,
Read what's been written and maybe they'll realize,
I'm not who they think I am.

But then again why should I care?
I've tried telling them a thousand times,
But it seems when I begin to talk,
Everyone simply ignores to hear,
So I'll stay alone seeking redemption myself.

Still a sleepless night of thoughts,
Still wondering what awaits me ahead,
If karma is true I guess I'll end up with a bullet in my head,
Looking at my life so far I've been living half dead.