Leaving me Behind

I walk quietly into your room
to make a surprise visit to you
yet as I open your bedroom door
I see a you that I didn't expect to

On the floor in a pool of blood
empty pill bottles strewn around
clutching a knife and a suicide note
your dying body waiting to be found

I scream and run to your side
desperately calling out your name
feeling for your chest to rise and fall
my heart yelling out in anguished pain

before I know it, I am on the phone
begging the police woman to send relief
I lay with you awaiting this new aid
drowning in your blood and my grief

Putting pressure to your crimson arm
salty tears blocking out everything I see
rocking you gently back and forth
pleading with you to remain with me

gripping your hand inside the ambulance
whispering words of comfort in your ear
reminding you that I'm here loving you
and praying my shaky voice you can hear

time swirls around me in an empty haze
taking you to a place I can't follow
as your life fades into the distance, faraway
leaving your body cold and forever hollow

I watch you breathe for the last time
in the world you flee to, your own true fantasy
forgetting how you've left me behind
as you journey on to your new eternity.

Sorry if this is weird to anyone. It is a feeling that I have needed to express for a long time. Kind of a greatest fear for me both ways, me finding someone like that one day, or someone finding me. Ummm that's all.