The Tears Behind The Smile

I walk around with my head held high pretending I'm okay.
The truth is that I'm messed up inside, and nothing can make this pain go away.
I try to be happy and friendly so that people won't see
the way I'm slowly dying from the pain you've given me.
I feel so wretched and out of my mind that I don't think I'll last.
I struggle to hold on to the warmer memories, and so I wear this mask.
I despise it, but it's necessary to fool everyone around.
I would have preferred you buried me alive six feet in the ground.
I've lost my ability to feel, and life is no longer worthwhile.
Still I'll keep up the pretence and the lies so no one can see the tears behind the smile.

(c) Mary Barren