Trapped in time

I stand out so different from the rest of the world
A speck of dirt upon the spotless gleaming snow
Being divided between innocence and wisdom
Unable to move time forward but forbidden to return
mocked by both sides, the past and future alike
Trapped by the collapsing walls that are my present
never tall enough for the expectations of the crowd
yet so altered from the little girl I used to be
I love her and hate her, as time tares her away
memories like sand running through my fingers
of when I destroyed the sweet little angel I once was
Now pleading that she can again be my reflection
instead of the haunted paleness I have now come to be
a jovial smile missing from my hollowed face
replaces by a soulless expression not firm in place
this new girl is hardly recognized as being me
So tainted, distorted, unfeeling, and deeply dark
Unable to grow into the world yet outside of a child's realm
Encased by my nightmares, racked with worrisome fear
praying that a light will come soon, making it all disappear