Swinging Out of Life and Into Death

I'm swinging out of life
And I'm swinging into death
I'm swinging into misery
And things that I regret
I'm swinging into pain
I'm swinging into tears
I feel I'm in a room of mirrors
As I reflect on all the bad years
I think about my fears and
I think about my wants
I think of all the little kids
I think about their taunts
I think about the bullying
I think about their laughs
I think about the times where I
Wish I could just go back
I wonder how life got this way
I wonder days on end
I wonder when this misery will
Come to a freaking end
All this time I've spent swinging
I feel that I must jump
But If I do I'll get a bruise when
I land right on my rump
I feel that I am looking for
Something that can't be seen
A better reason to give up life than
The excuse of the kids were always
Mean
But it wasn't just the kids
Oh no
It was the teachers too
My Mom
My Dad
Siblings
Friends
They all made me feel so used
I gave love and I gave friendship
And all of it
Abused
I was given life I was
But I feel my life went bad
Like spoiled milk or molded cheese
I look back on my life feeling sad
I could wish I had a better life
I could wish upon a star
I could wish for all the good things
But they all seem so far
Wishing hasn't worked for me
Nor has praying either
I'm slipping out of my religion
And becoming a non-believer
Sadness lingers in my mind
Sadness all around
The pot of gold at the end
Is no where to be found
But that's because it's not on earth
It's somewhere else in death
And so here I am swinging
Swinging with suicidal thoughts
They have become my friends
The friends that I've become to trust
So to keep friends with them
I must keep in contact
And think of them very much
Think of them so fondly
Think of them day and night
And think of them right now
Here as I swing away my life
As I'm swinging into death
As I'm about to give in to their
Deal of eternal friendship
And I think I will accept
I will sign the contract with a knife
I will sign it on my wrist
I will sign away my life
Death has been a friend of mine
It offered eternal friendship
I'll give in to this friendship
Because it's the only offer I've had
And a life without the love of friends
Is not a life I wish to have
So here I swing into darkness
Further away from the light
I've swung this same swing for
Hours
And I'm ready to take my life
I'll sign the contract and
Go down on the spiral slide into Hell
That's the end of my swinging
Because I've swung right into Hell

Please comment and rate! I love this poem I think it's wonderful. So you know I do not write out of emotions usually and this is not an exception. They're just words. No meaning connected to me. I am not suicidal. And I don't think about death all of the time anymore...I have healed. :)

If you liked this poem you might like: Crime Scene Waltz, The torture of it all, Bang Bang Bang, Sleep Soundly, Ha ha you're dead, I'll watch you die until the end, I Kill for the Pleasure, and many more of my evil little poems! To find what I consider my best deadly poems please check out my favorites section and keep an eye out for the titles.

Wow what an uplifting poem. If you liked this suicide poem you might like...: Ha ha you're dead, Here I am, Invisable in life and death, Happy birthday depressed, The torture of it all, To my beloved self, Blank, Final bow, One white line, and many more of my suicide poems. Look in my favorites for my absolute best poems and be sure to look at my other poems too and look at the titles. The more patheticly sad the title sounds the more likely it's a suicide poem. See ya.