Black Widow

by Drew Gold   Feb 2, 2006


Her smile was a tear
in the fabric of herself
and she, the needle
who'd sew it shut

etched into her mind
and thusly, her face:
the sadness of opinion
she couldn't express

pupils dilated,
thawing the glacial blues
within her eyes as
the emptiness grew

for once, her mind escaped
through her lips;
without guidance
of the world's approval
she curls in upon herself
and, twitching,
dies.

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Latest Comments

  • 14 years ago

    by Teys

    Few can write so little words yet still convey such profound and heart-wrenching imagery. I for one do not possess this talent, not skill, talent.

    Black Widow is such a perfect title for this poem too; the word 'Black' so strongly intensifies its effect (on me at least).

    Your flow is also a majorly credible asset to not just this poem, but the few other works of yours i have read.

    I look forward to reading more.
    peace,
    teys

  • 14 years ago

    by Kevin

    That was very good.

    You made the flow work all by itself, quite independant of the lines or stanza, which is rare...and the mental imagery was in places outstanding.

    All i could say in advice would be that the ending seemed blunt and totally out of sorts compared to the rest of the poem.

    But maybe you did this on purpose.

    Anyhoo, nice one.

  • 14 years ago

    by Lenny

    Thats really....when the word is invented I'll tell you. Erm it was short and just sort of perfect. I really have run out of words to describe it, in its simplicity it was extremely descriptive, you used that same sort of twist at the end style of writing, with the confusion building up to a point at the end where it all made sense and you had to read it again. So yes I guess what Im trying to say (in my own twisted unsenselke way) is that I like it. Going to shut up now.

  • 14 years ago

    by Loulou

    I like this one great job

    tabby

  • 14 years ago

    by Robert Gardiner

    Whoa, great poem Drew!!!