Self destruct

I can't even look at myself in the eye anymore
Lost all self worth and I feel such a bore
I get so tired of everyday life
I can't even bring myself to turn to my knife
I stuff myself full till I feel sick
Downing shots to be off my face quick
Skiving college everyday
I self destruct, this is my way
Ruining relationships with fearful texts
Living in a pig sty, my life is a mess
And all my anger is locked inside
Covered with a frown its the pain that I hide
Losing concentration, friendships a state
Watch tv till 2a.m and getting up late
Draining my bank accounts, just a bit of 'fun'
And yet all along I regret the things I've done
I hate the way I can't finish things and the way that I can lie
I wish that I could make it better, but I can't trust myself to try
I tried again to overdose but my mum had hid the pills
Quit therapy, and I get no sleep, life makes me feel so ill
I want to go back to a time when everything was right
I want to go back to a time when everyday wasn't a fight
I'm reaching out I need some help, someone help me please
I feel so weak and tired of life, I can't deal with my needs
My needs to feel loved and wanted
To believe in myself without feeling haunted
My past surrounds me everyday
I want to escape my self destructive ways