Forgiven

I tiptoe so quietly
into his throne room
Lay at his feet
my heart heavy laden

My head covered in shame
So great my mis deeds
whisper "I'm sorry"
"can you ever forgive me"

As I look them over
I know the truth
some of these things
are unforgivable

a precious few memories
of sharing my Jesus
with a few of my "nice" friends
because they understand

More hate in my heart
than there is love
more bitterness
than forgiveness

With a sinking feeling
I see them written down
in two separate books
one good, one bad

the bad one's pages
yellow from use
The book of goodness
scarcely a pen mark in there

Unable to stand this sight
I begin to weep
soon my gown is soaked
in my hearts wrenched tears

Hours later now I'm alone
but those books remain with me
with my hands trembling
I start to turn the pages

there's too much to read
everything I've ever thought
ever done, spoke, wondered
is written in these pages

A gentle hand covers mine
the other wipes away my tears
too ashamed to speak
I study my little feet

When I lift my head
I'm sitting on the ground
and he sits at a table
with the books laid out

a simple red pen
and I realize his intent
In horror I cry out "NO"
but he just smiles

where each sin is written
he signs his name
blotting out my name
as well as the black ink

I can only watch
for what seems like hours
as he takes all my shame
and writes it away

When all the black
is turned to red
he at last stands
and crouches with me

"it is finished"
his arms hold me
"it is finished"
"now your mine for eternity"

And I realize my foolishness
it was finished long ago
on that cross on a hill
where he bled and died

Now I'm free to live
and to love him completely
My heart's desire, my king
now you know why I serve him.

~CONGRATULATIONS for finishing my poem lol this is a mixture of a dream I had and a dream another guy had who died about 7 days after he had it. so this is dedicated to his memory and to our Jesus~