The truth

She sit with her hands folded
on the soft cotton lap
of her skirt leaning intently forward,
hair like wheat falling over her narrow shoulder
ankles crossed, feet tucked beneath the chair

did you feel this choice was the right one?
she asked do you feel that you have done wrong?
was your life lived toward this moment
would you have changed it knowing?

my mind did not feel as if it thought
cataloging her features instead
the full tender lips,
pink skin soft as a lover's whisper heart
body soul mind face faintly dusted with life

how do you know what is right?
I asked What is wrong?
What is change?
Are they not just names we place on

things we cannot grasp?
Can we dip our cup
into the river of life
and think we know the whole?

Her face clouded, and the hands lost their color
bloodlessly clenched looking away at the green grass
fields stretching endless shifting
at the the touch of uncertain winds

My sigh was lost in the sudden
rustling of the leaves behind me, the sun
shaping shadows from familiar things
why must I have known?

I asked gentle to ease her distress
do you think each step was taken with thought
a piece wisely chosen to sharpen
the vision I saw in my private dreams?

then where is the peace?
her words hung in the air
with the scent of freshly turned earth and
the lazy buzzing of a sated bee,
hands folded again and still

I could see my smile puzzled her
knowing as she did the path I chose
believing she could learn how to choose another
avoid my fate, my destiny, there is no peace

I said none here for us, no path goes there
peace is for another place and for some
not even then I longed to smooth the lines now drawn
between her brows not sure my words would reach her

but trying -
I can't say other choices would have taken me
to a better or different end my thoughts,
my feelings, my knowledge of myself

my knowledge of you
are seen through the lens of my life
desperate now to reach her
an urgency strangely built on truth

I denied -
cloud shadows chasing swiftly across the lawn -
I touched her skirt, she looked
into my soul when I ask why,

and what if I said
I am setting aside my future to search for a past
that has not been and can not be
Can I be any plainer than these words?

Stillness fell between us
until the pulses of nature
scents and sounds and kisses of breeze
stirred her again

If there is no right, there is no wrong
she said, placing her hand over mine
how can you find forgiveness if you only see darkness?
Does not the water in the river carry

each needful part of the whole?
Can we not learn from your walk?
Can we not? I murmured and fell back exhausted
she would not release my hand but followed

kneeling in puffs of vibrant cloth beside me
A heart that struggles toward truth makes its own peace
she whispered as I closed my eyes
sun warm on my body

I do not need to see your path to know your truth
- her hand caressing my arm -
can we find in this knowledge, hope?
her hand moved gently up to my shoulder, leaning
in until she became me again