Suddenly Empty

He gently closes the door for the last time,
While outside his heart turns to rust.
Standing shattered in wan springtime light,
No new life budding, just dust.

He steadies himself on the balcony wall,
And stares down to the car park below.
Just for a moment, that harrowing thought,
But the core of his soul tells him "No."

He walks past the flats as a man all alone,
And he baulks at the sounds from inside,
Be it arguments, laughter, or children at play.
Things he'd never now share with his bride.

He enters the lift , shudders as the doors close,
And then the motors sing in sullen reprise.
The descent brings forth funereal thoughts,
And he wipes now stark tears from his eyes.

He sits in his car as rain now falls on the roof,
The piteous cadence of nature's great cycle.
He thinks of the things to say to all her friends,
An ominous and saddening recital.

If he could turn things around and be in her place,
Heaven knows he would put up the stakes.
Her passing hurts those that care less for him,
But then cancer doesn't care who it takes.

"She's too young for this fate," so many had said,
"Oh the sorrow her parents must endure."
Never a word for him or what he was feeling,
As he watched her fade away with no cure.

And this day as she died in the home they shared,
All holding one and other in sorrow,
Nary a person right there offered comfort at all,
And he made a decision for tomorrow.

Friends could hear it from Mum, or hear it from Dad.
But his worth in their eyes was enough
Just to drive far away and never again return.
The decision, once made, was not tough.

Love crosses barriers both numerous and cruel,
And for every apex there is a nadir,
So he takes with him memories that always remain,
And leaves a note which makes this all clear.

"I can't live without her, I hope you all know."
"You all forgot in your loss, she's my wife."
"The rejection I felt in my time of great need,"
"Leads me now just to take my own life."

"Back to Derby," he adds in the confines of his head.
And he sets off for his hometown once more.
He doesn't look back, and he feels a slight shame,
But they will never come for him, he is sure.