My Mysterious Death

The feeling in my heart gives way,
What I needed was reassurances that everything was o.k.,
Everyone else seems to know what to do,
So why am I odd- the only one who doesn't know how to go through,

The pain I have endured has been sharper than the end point of a steel knife,
I just can't wait to draw last breath- o boy won't that be just the life,
Just to suck it all in from the world in one single breath,
To be by those strong hollow doors of the miserably bored death,

Just to feel that goal sends excited sparks of despair flowing through me,
My eyes are all full of deadly lust waiting for what's beyond the concave gates for my ogle to see,
I'm bursting with thrilled enjoyable excitement,
Something is lagging causing me not to go though- its hurting me forming this annoying dent,

Is this really what everlasting torments feels,
Then I say no to the end of our deals,
I realize now what was grabbing me down,
It was love- its purity was a beautiful sound,

I wanted to grasp it so gently in my fist,
It had this tingly light fuzzy mist,
The white clarity from its stunning rays,
Made remember the good ole days,

When I would actually smile,
Till I drank to much of the accursed vile,
I remembered my friends and my family too,
How they haven't had the slightest clue,

What scurried around in my confused head,
Now really do wish not be dead,
Send me back please,
I wanted this ghastly madness to cease,

Was I too late,
I cried hoping this wasn't my last only fate,
'I don't want to die'
I fell down with pain- I certainly was going insane and the idea made me cry,

Then I awoke with sweat on my face,
I comprehended that I was on a wild goose chase,
Those terrifying images were nothing at all,
My vision grew dreary and landed on myself as a result of my fall,

I roused again,
But not for sin,
It turned out I really died,
Death shrugged at me and sighed,

I was being lifted toward the sky,
I saw the shininess of my new home 'O my'
I'm living in the heavens- in the immortal above,
To see that my malice, my rancor, was actually love.

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