Pretence

I turn my back on you
So you can't see my tears
So you don't have to shoulder
The weight of all my fears.

There's so much about me you don't know
So much that I don't show.
You sit and laugh while I make jokes
But you can't see I'm not really laughing.

It's so much effort to keep this pretence
From falling, from fading before your eyes
But...I suspect, maybe a little,
You know I'm based on lies.

Yet every time you try to ask me,
Push me o tell you what's wrong,
I flinch, I pull away, I smile and flirt again.
I hate my weakness.
I hate my weakness in front of others
But most of all I hate my weakness in front of me.