What Do I Do?

by 111308   May 14, 2006

These tears they fall down like rain,
There's nowhere to hide from this pain.
I just want to take a knife out and cut myself in vain,
I feel so alone,
And I feel lost and confused,
What do I do?

I run to my room when I get home,
I shut and lock my dorrs,
I find my favorite cd,
I put it in,
And I turn it up....
As loud as my stereo can go,
Just so i can let out the painful screams,
I hold in each second of the day,
What do I do?

I lay on my bed,
So i can just rest my head,
These tears still flowing down my face,
I just want to leave this place,
I move over a little so I\'m in arms length of my nightstand,
I open my drawer,
And reach for my little chest,
What do I do?

I open it,
There's something sharp inside,
It's called my blade,
The edges are sharp and squiggly,
I cut myself often,
You should see the scars that run up and dowm my arms along my vains,
I pick the blade up and grasp it,
What do I do?

I roll up my sleeves,
I make a deep slit down my right arm,
The skin seperates,
The blood oozes out,
The color is beautiful,
Doing this every once in awhile,
Boy,Does it soothe me,
I put down the knife for a split second,
What do I do?

I roll up my other sleeve.
And i do the same as the other,
These cuts arn't that deep,
But are deffinately good enough to relieve the pain,
I make the cuts a little deeper each time,
Knowing i might one day commit my suicide,
But this is what I've got left to turn to,
What do I Do?

I can't turn to anyone,
No one would care,
No one even notices I'm here,
Im like invisible to everyone,
I wonder all the time if they'd even care if i wasn't here anymore,
I wonder if they'd even shed a tear,
My life is so painful it hurts,
What do I do?

I look down at my arms,
I think they've stopped bleeding,
I get up and go to my bathroom,
I turn on the bathroom sink,
I need to wash off these blood stains,
I gotta kind of scrub it gently to get them off,
I then take a towel and dry my arms off,
My cuts they kind of sting,But I'm getting used to all this pain,
What do I do?

I pull my sleeves down,
I go back into my bedroom,
I pick up the bloody towel on the floor,
And i just throw it away,
I look down at the floor,
I see that I left a little stain,
I get something to clean it up with and it all goes away,
I lay on my bed,
I'm tired i need some sleep,
I drift off into and extroadinary dream,
What do I do?

I take my sharp knife,
And i cut it right into my vain,
And i can deffinately feel the pain,
I don't think its ever felt like this before,
The skin quickly seperates,
And the crimson blood starts to show,
The blood is spurting out and going everywhere,
What do I do?

I know my body is loosing too much blood,
I know I cut too deep this time,
I knew that I was going to be commiting suicide,
My body begins to weaken,
I drop to the floor,
I can't stand anymore,
What do I Do?

My heads getting heavy,
I need to let it rest,
My body is starting to feel funny,
I can tell it's going insane,
My body is going numb,
It's like novacaine....
Seeping through my vains,
What do I do?

My eye lids are now starting to get heavy,
There starting to shut,
The world's starting to become darker,
My bodys drifting away,
I can finally leave this place,
My body's going cold,
I start to shiver,
And the world seems like it just froze,
What do I Do?

My body lay cold and stiff on the floor,
It ain't moving no more,
No more breathing,
And no more heart beating,
My body starts to change it\'s color,
I've died,
And there will be no more neights where I'll cry,
I've finally left this place,
But i know this is only a dream,
What do I do?

I awake,
I'm drenched in something,
And I feel kind of funny,
I reach for my lamp and i turn on the light,
I look down and i see what i couldnt believe....
I was covered in my own blood,
I must have stabbed my knife in me while i was in my dream...
What do I do?

I guess it's true that sometimes your dreams really do come true,
Because right now it seems to be exactly like my dream,
My head becomes heavy,
I lay it back down,
My body becomes numb,
And my eyelids start to get heavy...
What do I do?

My eyes they close,
I can feel myslef drifting away,
My body leaving this place,
i open my eyes one last time,
Then I black out,
It's getting harder to breathe,
I finally.....
Stop breathing...
And there's no more heart beating...
And then all that's left is darkness,
And no more Me....


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Latest Comments

  • 14 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    Oh dear god. it amazes me how you can come up woth this and write it with so much power :O i really am impressed with your writing, honestly i am xxxxxx

  • 14 years ago

    by Regret

    that was good but it made me think of some old times.....stiil great tho

  • 14 years ago

    by Natalie

    Aww. Jeez. Steph. I really hope your okay. This poem was so sad. I loved it though. They way you worded it, And wrote exactly what you were doing. Really good. I'm speechless right now. I don't know what to say. Just know that people do care okay. I'm always here if you need me. Awesome job! 5/5

    `taleee xx