Persecution

Gretas peice, sad but with an underlieing feel of hope. the flow is good and the content very clear.

5/5

I love these type of poems where it's almost like the person is giving in but actually t he other person is going to get right back what they deserve. Great job on the writing and wording of it all. 5/5

"This, is not you winning" I'm not sure if the comma is entirely necessary

"Cause life's a vicious game. " While I'm being grammatically strict, you could put an apostrophe in front of cause, since it is an informal contraction.

So although the general message of your poem was really easy to understand, I wasn't sure what the real event was. The last line of the first stanza seemed almost sexual to me; if I were to apply what you said to things that I'd consider prevalent to my life, I'd think of guys wheedling with their girlfriends to have sex with them, even when the girls aren't ready.

Regardless of whether or not that was your aim, I think the story behind the poem is lost to ambiguity. If this is to be a vague poem, I'd change parts of the first stanza to make it more so, and if not I'd add more stanzas to sharpen the story.

As far as the rhyming and rhythm go, I feel you did a very good job of developing a scheme without disrupting your message.

Good Work.

Great peice, it really holds the rreader and puls them in. the vocab use is very effective and portrays the theme well. the contnent in fgeneral is fantastically composed.

great peice

5/5

5/5...that was amazing i absoluty loved it, great word choice and you could defiantly feel the emotion behind it. love it!
.:Keke:.