Whats happening?

And so I see my teddy bear,
the strongest memory of my past,
of how those happy playful days,
never seemed to last.

But then again I'm reminded
every single day,
of how easily happy memories
can quickly fade away.

When your only memories
consist of death and hate,
It makes you wonder, makes you think
is this really fate?

Does everything happen for a reason?
Was I supposed to be alone?
Why is no one here to save me?
My emptiness has grown.

I am so confused,
about what is going on,
My life is throwing so much at me,
I feel I don't belong.

Instead of a little girl,
clinging to my bear,
I am here with a blade
cutting with despair.

Everyone seems so happy,
and I'm just not the same,
My mind has left my body,
I feel so cold, alone and drained.

But it's so much more than that,
and I know Iâ??m not me,
I want to be who I was
I want to be set free.

So here I am again,
questioning my life,
once again so scared and alone,
it's just me,
and my knife.