Word Pain#1

First diagnosed on 2004
I will not hear this lie anymore
Barely managing to stay alive
Reality Rips Still I survive
Once again more pain I hide
My thoughts seduced by suicide
You can't imagine this kind of pain
As fibrofog Bashes your brain
Let me please just be able to write
Go on & judge yet you've no right
In my mind deeper I dwell
As this life's become perpetual hell

(Acrostic)