Ode to A lost Love..

I lost everything I had.
And that included you.
It was so damn hard because,
You know what I am going through.

With all the pain that hide in my eyes,
And every blood shed tear.
You were there for me to talk to,
And release my every fear.

I never wanted to be like this,
Never wanted to change you and tear myself down.
Never wanted to cry myself to sleep at night
And hurt everyone around.

But you were there when I needed you,
Even when my heart was way too sore.
Then you realised that I wasn\'t worth it,
\"I can\'t take it anymore.\"

I never wanted our relationship back.
I just wanted a friend.
Someone to care for me and give me hope,
That my broken heart would mend.

I don\'t know what to do now you\'re gone.
Just go back to how I was before.
Keep everything to myself again,
Living a life I don\'t want to endure.

Or maybe I will leave this world.
Because you\'re not round to keep me here.
I wonder if you\'ll notice I\'m gone,
Or even shed a tear?

I wonder if I killed myself,
What would I leave behind?
What would I escape from?
And what will I be sure to find?

I\'m not afraid to leave my life.
And slowly slip away.
But the people that really do love me.
I don\'t want them to make me stay..

I\'m scared to hurt them more then I already have,
I don\'t want them to dwell in dreams.
My life wasn\'t perfect like you thought it was,
Nothing is as it seems.

I know for sure what I decide,
That you cannot change my mind.
You know that I will always love you okay?
And I\'ll never left you behind.

I will always be with you okay?
No matter where you decide to go.
Because whatever you decide to do,
I\'ll always be there to follow.

All the things we said we\'d do,
And all the people we said we\'d see.
Are all still very possible,
if you live and follow your dreams.

Everything for me is falling down,
And Iâ??m struggling to get it right.
But every time I try and work it out,
I end up in another fight.

Im scared that if I hold on,
that again Ill be torn right down.
I dont want to feel that hurt,
and hurt you when Im not around.

I dont know what to do anymore,
You mean the world to me,
I dont want you to turn around one day,
And not like what to see.

Im giving up trying to eat,
Cuz you know I dont want to.
The only reason I tried in the first place,
was to not hurt you.

Im crying all the time,
And I hide it from your eyes,
I tell you that im eating,
Well that all just my selfish lies.

Im sick of been the one that frowns,
When I would give anything to smile.
But nothing is working anymore,
Nothing seems worthwhile.

Im sorry for everything Ive done,
I didnt mean to hurt you.
I just want to be me,
Without me hurting too.