SAve Him!!!!

by Cyma Khan   Jul 10, 2006


Darkness is all around
searching for soothing sound
Something pulling him down
He feels that he is drown
Itâ??s a dark place
With no one around
He is all alone there
Searching for one helping hand
It was there but not any more
Where he looks for
He is lost in there
Hear his voice he is calling your name
Save him from there

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by mistressxsork

    I liked this one. It's very deep and filled with emotion. It was very nicely written. GREAT WORK!

    -Jennifer.

  • 17 years ago

    by donk2ymouth

    I like this poem, it's a bit of a twist on a dark poems, even though most dark poems are similar..It's a little hard to explain, I like how good this poem was for the fact that it was so short..This is one of the better poems I have read that are 1 stanza, haha..

    All I can suggest is to fix the error in the language, The apostrophe got changed for other symbols..And the 'A' in the title is capitalized..

    Also, I think you should try and add more detail to make the poem more picture..est. So I can visualize exactluy what was going on in your head when I read this.

    Good write.

  • 17 years ago

    by Momentary Relapse

    Flow wasn't great. Sound content. Words didn't exactly help which they could've done. Not bad but not great. Words should probably be a bit more... better chosen.
    ~Faith-less

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