Dear Pill Bottle (edited)

Dearest little bottle flowing with colorful capsule candies,
Why did your enticing freedom tempt my broken heart?
Dearest little pill bottle that concealed my many additions?
No I must thank you for providing me the easy way to depart.

Hours ago I had sat upon my bed on a rainy, moonless night,
clutching another cup of water and your cylinder in my hand.
I had just locking the door, closing out all from my attic room,
craving for solitude while I poisoned myself at your command.

My body convulsing and trembling as I swallowed each small pill,
excitement pounded in my blood, undeterred by deep manic fear.
I lavished in the flashbacks of old and unsuccessful overdoses,
ones that had brought the addictions and silences the watery tears.

I flirted with the delicate line dividing earth from beyond to hell,
obsessing, lusting after the exact quantity that would free my mind.
Tossing and turning in a fitfully slumber under the influence of meds,
hoping to anything that I would not live through as I had designed.

But no more to be haunted by the puppeteers of addiction voices,
because giving into their will was the key to silencing their call.
I had finally released myself for a long wasted sense of lifetime,
declaring my weakness and letting pills guide me down to my fall.

-Tainted Miko

I have had many friends try to OD on drugs and pills. There was once a time when I sought after the same fate for myself, memories that inspired me to write this poem.