Heart weilding weaponry

Sitting here wondering how, and why
Head in hands, looking down
A heart split between two
Wondering why
Years go by day by day
Waiting here trying to decide what to do with my near future
The possibility of dealing with hell at home, leaving on my own, or being sent away
Respect must be gained
You can't easily tame a wild dog
My anger, pride and love keeping me alive
A world turned black by reality
A boy turned cold by the horrors life has to offer
Alone free time spent pondering how and why
For every new issue another door put up
The doors keeping me in and others out
The few who can enter can only go so far so quickly
Try to break in and face the blade
The blade of my heart