Did you let him in?

As she lay on her deathbed
She couldn't get him out of her mind
She knew she was going to heaven
But once there, what would she find?

Dear God I have got to get this letter to you
Before I so peacefully pass away
I don’t want my excitement to leave in heaven
I’ve been waiting to meet you everyday

I'm kind of scared to go
But I'm not scared to die
I'm just afraid that when I get there
I'll see that evil guy

I’ll never forget that disgusting night
When he laid me on my parent’s bed
“You say a word about this kid
I’ll make sure you end up dead”

I was to terrified to do anything
I just laid there 'till he was done
After it was over I felt so icky
Ashamed for letting him have his fun

How dare he touch me in those ways?
He knew by the day I was literally dieing
That hole in my heart felt so violated
My insides were aching and crying

I had a serious medical condition
And the doctors could not help me
The hole in my heart was growing bigger
My life, my strength was fading quickly

I was in and out of sleep
Family sitting all around my bed
They all looked so sad and tired
I saw that many tears were shed

“Please Oh god just answer me this
That night when he over dosed
Was his name in the book of life?
Or did you send him to the place I hate most?

I couldn't feel safe in heaven
If I knew that he was there
I'd be afraid it would happen again
God, please hear my despair

God I know you have angels up there
But what if they don’t see!
What if he does it behind their back?
God what if he again rapes me!

You've always taken care of me before
Please God, don't let that change now
I can feel my time is running out
As my mom wipes sweat off my brow

My Uncle was so dang desperate
I was his victim that night
Oh God you saw every bit of it
It happened in your very sight

My God did he ask for forgiveness
Did you forgive him of his sins?
Lord I just don’t want to die
Knowing you let him in