Daddy

Why weren't you there?
Why didn't you call?
Its like you didn't care,
You didn't care at all.

I missed you so much,
And hoped you were here.
But you'd always be out -
Smoking pot or drinking beer.

I remember the day
That I first found out
About your accident.
You'd be paralyzed no doubt.

Then you couldn't walk.
You were stuck in the chair.
Then the shock sank in
That you would never be there.

Take a moment and think,
Think of what you did.
You made our life a hell,
For every one of your kids.

No more baseball or sports.
No more quality time.
No more happiness here.
Id just sit and Id rhyme.

Then came the day
When I found out the news.
You had lung cancer,
But kept smoking and drinking booze.

I knew you didn't have much time,
Then you just gave up the fight.
Everyone was sad,
Holding in their sorrow with all their might.

I remember the last time I saw you;
So sickly and pale.
Your body was so weak.
You were real skinny and frail.

I said I hope you get better.
And then walked away.
You said No. We'll get better.
I had to turn my face away.

I tried to hide my emotions,
Tried to hide the tears.
I wanted you to be here
For so many more years.

Then the call came @ 6 a.m.
Yes, the call was bad.
In my head I knew
That I sadly had no dad.

Then my mom came in
And said what i knew
Visions of you went through my head
They just flew and flew.

The funeral was hard.
All I did was cry.
Thinking to myself
Why did YOU have to die?

You had 3 beautiful kids,
A wife and a home.
She was always with you.
You were never alone.

Now I don't have a dad.
No male figure around.
When people say, Wheres your father?
I just look to the ground.

Now you see what it does,
Smoking cigarettes and pot?
If anyone asks you,
Say no I will not.

My dad was an example,
Many were in fact.
Of what NOT to do,
And how NOT to act.

I love him so much.
I wish he was near.
But he'll always be with me,
In my heart, yes right here.

So heed his example,
Take to heart this advice.
Don't smoke or do pot,
And you'll live a long, happy life.

dedicated to my daddy.. march 7, 1956 - march 24, 2003