Mean the world to me~

Ooh, this was interesting.. I liked the choppy effect, it made it more detailed and emotional somehow.. I also liked the repitition in this.. The emotion was clear although I felt you could have used slightly better vocabulary.. Nice job though 5/5

Your flow is much better this time but again you have repeated some lines just again and again in the poem. It takes out the maturity of the poem. If you think it makes you sound desperate then well it does not. A poem is not just an expression of feeling though it's soul is expression, you must have a way with your words too. Repeating words gives a message that you could not find others to fit in.
Find more expressive and complex words to say exactly what you feel, do nto repeat the same words.

The repeated lines are:

That giving me one more chance
Would mean the world to me

My suggestion is that the line "Would mean the world to me" sound good at the end of the peom, maybe you can of other lines that fit well for the first stanza.I would strongly suggest to rewrite or edit the poem, as I feel that you have got the concept and flow but are only struggling for words.

I am moved by this dark poem which flows beautifully

This was very good 5/5