An Undecided Kiss

Not a day goes by when I'm not thinking of you
You're so beautiful
There is something different about you than most
Something that attracts me differently
Maybe it's your eyes
Oh God when I look into them,
I swear I see the stars
My heart starts to race
My palms become sweaty
I am at a loss for words because my tongue will not adhere to my will

I don't know what to say
I don't know what to tell you
I want to tell you how I feel
How my lust for you burns so fiercely
But I mustn't
Why?

Because I have to take down your picture
I can't stop looking at it
When I look at it, I want to be with you
But I know you don't want to be with me
And I need to stop telling myself I might have a chance

You already have someone in your life
Someone you claim to love
Now I don't know the whole story on this person
But in a way I kind of wish I was in their place
So I could kiss you when I wanted to
Hold you when I felt like holding you
I want your hands to be mine to hold
Look at you and know that you love me the way that I love you
Loving you the way that I want to
And that you would never leave me

I once had the chance to have you I think
I was unsure at that time and I think you were too
So I abandoned it and didn't think of it again

Until awhile back
I saw you for the first time in a long time
God you looked so beautiful
Suddenly, I wanted my heart to be yours
To be yours to do with what you will
As long as you promise not to puncture it, and make it bleed
If that happens, then I don't know what I'd do
I would be lost in this world
Lost, confused, and broken
With no one to take your place
No one to love me the way that I wanted you to love me

I would be so good to you
Treat you so well
I would always be there when you need me
I would comfort you
If you ever cried, I would cry with you
It would hurt me though, to see you crying
I hope that I never make you cry
I don't know what I would do if I ever made you cry
I wouldn't be able to handle it

If you were to die tonight
I would also die
There is no way I could survive on this earth without you
Even if I never saw you again
Because my soul seems to feed on your existence
Nothing can change the way I feel about you
Not even Death himself

Sometimes I try to be mad at you so no one can see how I feel about you
It works until you get mad at me
Then I wish that I wasn't pretending to be mad at you
And you could know how I feel

I want to kiss your lips so badly
But I have kept it undecided
The undecided kiss that I want to bring us together
Together forever, or at least a very long time
I just want a chance to be with you

If only I knew if you felt this way about me
I would be thrilled if you felt the same way I do
My whole life would change, probably for the better
But nothing is that great in this world we live in,
And you probably never think about me,
Or consider being with me, and I will never have you

If only I hold on to my affection for you,
An affection so strong, not even the ends of the earth could stop its heartbeat
Somewhere down my lonely path,
If I give you my undecided kiss,
You could be mine