You Hurt Me So Badly...Yet You Taught Me How To Love

Hush, little sister,
Try to clean up that mess of a heart.
Oh God, I promise that I never meant it to be this hard.
Darling child,
I swear I didn't want to drag you down with me...
I was blinded by my sorrow,
So all I saw was death, not even you, not even me.
I was close to the end at all times,
You surely remember.
Isn't that why you always cry?
I know I had my problems,
Maybe I should have kept them hidden.
I love you, little sister,
And maybe it seemed to you that happiness for me was forbidden.
I'm all better now,
But I never realized how badly I scarred you.
I'm sorry for those nights you couldn't sleep,
For the worries locked in your mind, those worries only you had to keep.
I'm sorry I never realized,
Just how much I was affecting you.
I'm sorry that my problems were the truth.
Oh, now, little girl...
Wipe those tears, hold your chin up high.
Even though I never did,
That's all I want to do now, which is why I always try.
I learnt from my mistakes,
And I pray to God that you did too.
Maybe you learnt from my flaws,
So they will never plague you.
I'm sorry I was never the brother
Who held you close when you were scared.
I'm sorry that I was the reason you were scared,
And oh how sorry I am that I was never there.
I'm sorry every time you thought of me,
You broke down into tears.
I'm sorry that I have wounded you so much
Over these past years.
And maybe this isn't your brother,
Typing this poem while tears run down your face.
But I know that you realize,
This is how I feel, every single day.
You, pretending to be me,
Apologizing for the things I did...
Apologizing that I never helped,
That I always only hid.
Darling sister,
I know you forgive me.
It wasn't my fault...
And trust me when I say,
Life was no party.
It was a living Hell, every single day.
I'm trying so hard for you right now,
I want to be the brother
You see on the television screens.
I want to cheer you up when you're down,
I want to be there to whisk away that frown.
For, the truth of the matter is,
You were always just like me.
People tell you to change,
Don't ever be the same.
Love, life just gets harder.
I know how bad you have it,
Because I was there years ago.
Maybe you think I forgot,
But I never will,
And that you must know.
Every time I see you cry,
It brings me back in time.
You're not the same,
But be proud of the fact,
And never give into their game.
People come and people go,
But I will always be here, sun or snow.
Forget what they think,
You're a star, and you must believe.
Open those brown eyes wide,
And even if it's forced,
Try to smile.
I'm here to help you take off that mask,
To help you think half full when you look at the glass.
Let those idiots say what they wish,
You're beautiful,
And complete happiness is NOT a myth.
Walk with pride,
And I hope when you remember me,
You always smile.
Because,
Even if they say that nobody ever will,
I already do.
I always have, and always will,
Love you.

**this poem probably confused most of you. its just all the advice my brother gave me...i tried to write it from his point of view. it may not make sense to you, but i hope you enjoyed it. plz comment/rate.**