I Miss You

I haven't thought of you in months
But suddenly you're in my thoughts
And I am reminded of all
The pain that you brought.

But I also think of the laughter and smiles
As well as all the pain
Please tell me why oh why
Did we play such a stupid game?

Our love was pure and true
Until we ruined it
Two hearts which were whole
Shattered into tiny bits.

Why are you suddenly on my mind
After so damn long?
Are we about to see
Maybe we CAN be strong?

No, I'm just kidding myself
Pretending that we might emerge as friends
When there's no way things can ever rectify
This really is the end.

I have someone in my life now
Someone that I think I love
But I can't help but remember
When I thought you were my angel from above.

I pretend that I've moved on
But really I am lying
I'm smiling on the outside
But inside I'm still dying.

Just a little over eight months
Is when we broke up so long ago
But if I'm honest I still love you
It's just that I no longer let it show.

I wonder if you still hate me
For I really don't hate you
It's just that I'm confused
And I really don't know what to do.

My friends think I am over you
For a while I did too
But I guess I was just lying to myself
I'm still so confused over you.

The days aren't any easier
I'm just living a lie
They are just as hard as they have always been
And sometimes I'll still cry.

I no longer know anything about you
But I think I'll always love you
I'm back to the question of
'Do you still love me too?'

Why am I asking this
When I already know what the answer will be?
The question I should be asking is
'When will you let my heart be free?'

At this point in time
I'd settle for us being friends
All I really really want
Is for my heart to mend.

I'm sorry for the way things turned out
More sorry than you'll ever know
How I wish that we were close again
Wish you'd stop calling me a stupid wh0re.

It isn't that I don't want to fix things
It's just that I don't know how to
So please boy help a lost girl out
And tell her what to do.

I miss you so much
I can't keep up this facade much longer
I'm sorry if you thought I could
If you thought that I was stronger.

I'm drowning in confusion
Suffering in hate
Hate for myself
For causing such a horrible fate.

When I lost you
I lost the best friend I ever had
And the pain hasn't gone away
It's still just as bad.

Tell me how to make things right
Tell me what to do
Tell me I am forgiven
And stop me feeling blue.

I really thought I was over you
But truthfully I still miss you
And every day I'm wondering...
Do you still miss me to?