Burnt Bridges

by Breeanna   Dec 14, 2006


I cant stand the 4th stanza, any ideas?
========
Just one too many, I burnt another.
The cinders are in the air, and my lungs
Fill with smoke.

I have seen many friends walk away,
Never did I mean to
But I do believe I push people away.

Burnt to a crisp
I burn another
Stop me.

A fight here, a fight there
Pour it on, light the match,
Throw it on and watch it
Blast.

Save me from the fire;
Pyro but not by nature,
I promise I'll stop.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by StandStill

    This is great. i don't know what to say for the 4th. sorry....maybe something about how they teach us not to play with matches when we're kids?

  • 17 years ago

    by Cattiebrie

    I really like this one. I really understand what you are saying... I am enjoying your writing a lot. I think the last stanza, perhaps just use alternate descriptions for fight, in anycase, its great,

  • 17 years ago

    by Lecrissa

    Is a great poem, as for the last verse try somthing like this:

    Save me from the fire,
    I don't want to see another bridge burn.
    I know I need to stop,
    Its best for all conserened.

    Mind you I can't spell, I hope it helps.

  • 17 years ago

    by Jenni

    Wow. There are so many different emotions that you have in this poem. I felt a lot of resentment and bottled up frustration. I sensed a little bit of hurt and apologies as well. It wasn't very long, but what you portrayed in it was amazing. 5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by x.Athame.x

    I like the idea, and the concept, and I like how you conveyed it. I think that, however, you could elaborate on the base you have here and really turn this into something amazing. Simply concentrate the emotion in this piece, the poem is the door to the writer's heart and soul. Let what you feel flow out through your words. Best wishes, and blessed be. *5/5

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