Point of View

"I move towards the opposite way"
might sound better it you tried
"I walked the other way"
just a suggestion.

Other then that I really liked this poem. The wording was good and easy to understand. The flow was smooth from beginning to end.

5/5

I agree wiht Vanilla with the flow being off, but it makes more sense than the previous poem that I read. I like the idea of it and my favorite lines were in the last stanza. I don't care about what everyone else says, I liked this poem and the meaning of it. Keep it up, 5/5!

With all due respect,
Hatori
The Illusionist

Um, to sum up sean's comment, BAD KENNY!

"memories tide unto my soul"
What does 'tide unto' mean? Tide... like the rising and falling of water in accordance to the heavenly movement of the lunar orb? How can something tide unto something else? Do you mean 'tied'?

"I move towards the opposite way "
First, 'towards' isn't a word, 'toward' is. Next, you can't move toward a direction anyway, you can only move toward an object. You can only move 'in' a direction. So either "I move in the opposite way" or "I move toward the opposite _____" where _____ is something that metaphorically gets across what you're talking about.

"No matter if I love you
or not,"
Why is there a line break? They aren't arbitrary you know, they have a purpose.

I felt like a lot of the poem was pretty boring. The imagery and similes/metaphors were pretty trite and over-used, and none of the concepts were particularly fresh, but there isn't really anything terribly wrong with this one.

It holds real emotion too it, very nicely written