One Harmless Glance

Now let me just say before I go through each stanza..I LOVE this!!

"You are beautiful to me
When you do your little dance
It is funny how much is seen
With just harmless glance"

^^ I liked the opening stanza, it's always amazing how much you can tell/know about a person just by one look and you captured that well.

"I'm glad that you are happy
Yet there are tears in my eyes
Because of certain circumstances
Your voice causes me to cry"

^^ This was a twist, from the opening it seems that it's going to be about something happy yet here you show that it's not without yet saying why, which adds mystery and makes me want to continue reading.

"I'm infatuated with you
Captivated by your smile
I would really appreciate it
If you could stay a while"

^^ Not to keen on this verse. Seems a little weak.

"Your presence is like a toxin
A quite addicting drug
And when you aren't here
I feel the withdrawals tug"

^^Favourite stanza of the poem. I love the metaphor use here, very unique.

"But when you decide to leave
The times when you are gone
The pains seems overwhelming
And everything goes wrong"

^^I didn't like the constanr "the" maybe:

But when you decide to leave
Those times when you are gone
Overwhelming pain appears
And everything goes wrong"

"I write all this down
So no one hears my cries
I take one harmless glance
So no one can see my eyes..."

^^ I LOVE this, so bittersweet that it instantly tugs on the reader's heart.

I really enjoyed this one.

I really like this poem because it reminds me so much of my life. It has lots of thought put into it. You are a great writer!!

This is an amazing poem! great job. brought tears to my eyes! keep it up!!!

xo

I didn't expect the ending to be like that, I figured it'd be more of a rejection type thing. But, making it what I think it will be.. well, that's just not you. Lol.

You did a great job with this poem. The last stanza brought the entire poem together. I really liked this actually, I didn't think I would..

Keep it up, hun.
5/5

That was pretty good. the flow was almost flawless. It was an amazing write full of such emtion. Keep up the good work 5/5