Locked Heart's Tune

by Startle Me   Mar 11, 2007


Cannot get close to heart
Locked chains will prevail
Will hurt without mercy
The body's golden grail

Release all temptations
For it will not compute
Body's ever lasting fury
Leaves them dull and mute

Yet its heart is depressed
Wishing for its knight
To break all the chains
With its everlasting might

"Save thee," it screams
"For I am lost and alone
Listen to me close enough
May able to hear my moan"

Heart sings of its loneliness
Sings for dreams of pleasure
It leaves it ached and bruised
Damage cannot be measured

"Oh my dear lover, love me
Hold close to thy dear tune
Merge with thee thy heart
Do it now, do it soon"

"Oh my dear lover, hold me
Stay with thou forever
Break chains this locked heart
Dear knight, you are clever"

Aiming for the stars, aiming for the moon
The heart sings its sad, downhearted tune

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by tyanna

    First stanza needs fixed a bit..Cannot should've been on the first line..Other that that good job...Great choice of words too..
    another 5

  • 18 years ago

    by Brittany C

    Very cool. Love the word choice and I love this poem. Great, keep writing you are very good at it:) Another 5/5

  • 18 years ago

    by Kristina

    Oh this was pretty good. it had a nice flow. and it was greatly written. keep it up! 5/5

    ~Kristina

  • 18 years ago

    by Darien

    I didn't like the first line of the poem. 'cannot' really threw it off. The rest of the poem was really good. I liked the rhyme scheme and I liked the flow, both of them were consistant. The last couplet was very well written. It was an interesting piece, the dialogue sort of made it really fun to read. Good job on this poem.

  • 18 years ago

    by David

    Get close to heart, cannot
    Locked chains will prevail
    Will hurt without mercy
    The body's golden grail

    i loved this paragraph. it was well written. prevail and grail are great words to use.

    well done and keep writing!

    5/5 David

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