How, and why ?

I'm scared of the dark
But the light seems more frightening
Do you blame me
For searching something else

I've never known purity
And I've never spoken the truth
So why would I do now
When the lie is easier

Why would I expose my soul
When I know it would be torn
Why would I open my heart
When it's already broken

Can you blame me
Of not knowing who I am
To pretend I'm fine
It aches the whole time

How can I trust you
When I can't even trust myself
A stranger is easier to trust
The lie seems more truthful

How can I smile sincere
When I've forgotten how
How can I cry my eyes out
when I keep them shut

how can I speak
without being afraid
of telling something
something important and true