Omg that is really good!! I love it how you repeat but you don't know me at all .. good job! love it love it !!!! 5/5

I love the repitition in the last line of every stanza. Adds for a greater effect. You did a great job. 5/5

Comment #1

"At concerts with me you sing along
You think with you I should belong
Learn to open your sealed eyes
You all don't,don't know me at all"

Untill that part, i had no idea who's point of view i was reading from.
It all fitted perfectly together.
The repetition really shows the frustration that is being felt and the reader can easily sympathise (due to the way you've wrote it)
Well done, it's fabulous!
5/5
*Gem*

I liked this poem alot. It was very good. lots of emotion. the flow was nice to. well done. =]
5/5

~Chelsea

I loved it. I liked the last stanza the best but I lpved it all.
It flowed well and the emotion was deep.
Keep it up 5/5

|Sarah|

I loved the general Idea of the poem, it was VERY unique. But I think that you tryed so hard on rhyming that it pulled you away from what you really wanted to say in this poem. In some places the rhyming was a bit forced/cliche and didn't seem to fit what you were saying.

"Maybe I fill your empty lonely heart
But you don't know me at all"
^^^I loved that line

"money for respect, so a little too best"
^^^I don't understand what you meant in this line at all.

"If you love me, came and save then"
^^^ I think you need me in there somwhere, but of course that might throw off your rhyme count, so I'm not sure.

In another stanza "yearn" and "then" didn't really rhyme and threw off your rhyme count

Other than those things, I loved your unique Idea, your heart and emotions just seemed a bit held back by trying to rhyme.

Ahhh i also have a poem titled this for the same contest, yours is so much better though i think

amazing job

brittany (MD)

This was very good and the last stanza was the best. It was very well written and I enjoy all dark and sad poems. 5/5 and keep up the good work.

Hey this was a great poem! i get the feeling you wrote it for my contest =] i like the choice of words.
nuff luv x

Leave myself falling all down,yelling
^ Do you mean "falling all the way down" ?

I wish I could be just a deaf
^ I think you should get rid of "a"

I'm screaming for help in this marsh
^ What? A marsh? Like a swamp?

Money for respect,so a little too best
^ I don't understand this.

If you love me,come and save then
^ Do you mean "come and save me then" ?

I have to admit that I did not really understand this poem as there were many lines that did not make sense to me. I would advise that you reread your poetry before you post it to make sure everything makes sense. I also felt that some of the lines/words you used were used only so that they rhymed. They did not actually have anything to do with the poem and were merely used because that word rhymed. I liked the repitition though, it added a nice effect to the poem and it made your words seem more effective. Nice try hun. 3/5

Wow, I really like your style. This poem was amazing. Keep up the good work!

Quite lovely really. my favorite part is "Here goes another sad side
A misery that fame can't hide"
i have a tad adoration for it. 5/5 love.

Wow, what an interesting perspective, my favourite line was:

"Maybe I fill your empty lonely heart
But you don't know me at all"

i liked the imagery in it and how true it is, i also loved the fact the idea of it was very original.

the only bit i didnt quite get was
come and save then

not sure what you meant but otherwise really good.

This was an interesting poem ,different ive never read one on this topic and i really did enjoy it. Wasnt sure on what some lines ment but other then that nice poem 5/5~mel

Wow.
I love this.
It seems like a song.
I love songs. :]]
I'm in kind of a band
No drums, though.
If they approve it
Would you think it'd be okay
If I use this for one of the songs?
I won't take credit for writing it
Or anything :]