That Night

by BeautifulDisaster   Apr 18, 2007


She walks into the room,
Everyone stops to stare.

She starts to get self consience,
But doesn't even care.

She looks her best tonite,
And it's finally fair.

Her outfit is beautiful,
Along with her hair.

Not a thing is out of place,
Unlike a childish dare.

Her mother is so proud of her,
She can barely bare it.

Tonite is going to be perfect,
Everyone stops to stare.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by tears i cry

    Good but what exactly isnt she is proud of 4/5 for gret poem but not telling me what it was about

  • 16 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    I really liked this, as you didn't actually say what was going to happen tonight, and that leaves the reader's imagination open.

    Flow was good for the most part, but at times it was a little off. I enjoyed the imagery you used, it created vivid pictures.

  • 16 years ago

    by Ashleigh Skye

    This is amazing.. I really liked it.. im not sure if its talking about prom or graudation cause I got the impression it could be either one. the only line I would change would be this one "She can barely bare it." the double b's kinda throw it off a little bit.. nice job though

  • 16 years ago

    by MaSkEdSoUl

    The flow was good until I read this line:

    "She can barely bare it."

    It doesnt flow right with the rest of the poem, maybe re-word it, find something that flows perfectly with this piece. It goes with every event cuz it doesnt say which event specifically. Well I'd give you a 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by tyanna

    Tonite should have been tonight.. and I think you should reword "she can barely bare it"..It just didn't flow with the rest of the poem. Other than that it was great..4/5