The phone rings.

by Teria   Apr 30, 2007


The phone rings, I run for the door.
Headed for a safer place than
what I"m already headed for.
I've already given my all.

All to those who really took it.
The phone rings, I run for the door.
I've now forgotten why I'm here.
Only for you to torment me?

My tears have shattered as they
slowly hit that dusty floor.
The phone rings, I run for the door.
I have nothing left to wait for.

It's all been stolen from my hand
without warning of any kind.
And, I can no longer think as..
the phone rings, I run for the door.

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by Darien

    The line you repeated was very effective in each verse. I really liked the rhymes in this poem as well, they didn't seem forced at all. They flowed so naturally. Also, that line you repeated, it was really interesting.

  • 17 years ago

    by ephemera

    This poem was awesome! I sorta didnt get the part about running for the door though... is it because you are scared of something?

    Anyways it was a great write!

  • 17 years ago

    by BECCA lessTHANthree

    Okay so to be completely honest... the read was very nice, the flow is wonderful and it just sounds poetic... it's a very nice touch how you repeat, "the phone rings, i run for the door" and i love that you brought it down a line with each stanza... clever...

    however okay heres the honest part... i don't get it at all.. when you say ...
    "Headed for a safer place than
    what I"m already headed for."
    i feel it's contradicting because if you are already heading for a safe place what is the need to run for a safer place

    also when you say "i have nothing left to wait for" it seems like an unnecessary line to the meaning of the poem although it is necessary to the flow of it .. again i dont understand it's purpose... you have already stated that you don't want to be where you are and are going to leave each time your say "i run for the door" so why tell the readers again?

    so if you could leave me a message i would really like to know what this poem is about

  • 17 years ago

    by Brittany C

    Cool poem. It has a nice flow to it. But I did think that it was a little confusing maybe it was just me:). Anyways I really did like this poem. It all in the flow. I gave it a 5 out of 5.

  • 17 years ago

    by Kaila

    Very suspensful!
    I thought it was also mysterious like why were you running type of thing.
    This stanza has one error you need to fix

    All to those who really took it.
    The phone rings, Ir un for the door....( I run)
    I've now forgotten why I'm here.
    Only for you to torment me?

    otherwise it was a nice write