Brain Shadows

by Cantchangeme   May 2, 2007


Soring on the wings of an angel
I mused to myself
So we drunk a drink for my demons
As they drank to my health

The angels wings were burning
And ashes drove us to the ground
And as she took her last breath
My demons pulled her down

They ripped my flesh from my bones
And as they were bleached by the sun
We talked of the new world today
And how it seams paranoia had won

As we talked we drunk the devils whiskey
And he asked me if i felt blessed
I've searched for comfort all my life
And only found it here in death

The woods have now closed in on me
The roots join the shadows under my skin
The shadows will give you the ether
All you have to do is breathe it in

He held out a hand and pulled me up
As my sense of self was broke again
Ever felt like your stuck in a waiting room
In your hand you hold the number
Just waiting for the end

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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by Teria

    "Soring on the wings of an angel"
    - Soring = SOARING

    "The angels wings were burning
    And ashes drove us to the ground
    And as she took her last breath
    My demons pulled her down"
    [The angels wings were burning,
    ashes drove us to the ground
    And as she took her last breath
    my demons pulled her down]
    - You used and way too much in one stanza, took away from the purity/poeticness of it

    "They ripped my flesh from my bones"
    [They ripped away my flesh from bones]
    - Gets the point across without over using certain words. (my)

    The last stanza kind of confused me, but at t he same time it made sense. I would suggest going over it and maybe changing a few things to make it flow better. But, your poem is quite nice. I haven't read a really dark poem in a long time, which I liked. But, I'm still glad I read this. You did good with the emotional setting and the imagery.

    Kudos

  • 16 years ago

    by SunDown Sky

    Damn.. i have to add u as a fav author.. u're good indeed

    i love this part

    "As we talked we drunk the devils whiskey
    And he asked me if i felt blessed
    I've searched for comfort all my life
    And only found it here in death"

    5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Infected with His Deadly Love

    Such a powerful poem.
    It flowed well and the emotion was deep.
    Keep it up 5/5

    [Sarah]

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