Demonology and Heartache

by Startle Me   May 2, 2007


Who would have thought to fall in love
With a friend, with a family, a foe?
Stupidity is the cause of this problem
It is easier to hide six feet below

Yes, a coffin summarizes the solution
The answer will always equal to death
That is what the demon inside whispers
I am close enough to feel his breath

Should one stay? Should one go?
How to handle an issue such as this?
Hopefully, these feelings would end
With just a hug, with just a kiss?

Yet, to feel those lips unto mine
It will feel like heaven on its own
When or if I choose love over death
Will my finale be postponed?

The heart I feel throbbing, pulsing
What a wonderful, beautiful sensation
Who would have thought that love
Would bring out such a nice vibration?

Yet this demon makes one suffer
With the cruelty in his words
Other hand, love makes you notice
About the flowers, about the birds

I have heard, love is worst than death
Worst than the screaming fires of hell
Heart would be captured, enslaved
All for the reason that this one fell

**Tried to make it better... Just can't. Lol. Any ideas?**

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by BeautifulxMess

    I personally couldn't find not one
    thing wrong with this poem.
    The flow was very well done,
    and the poem was penned well!
    God bless 5/5
    <3tay(^_^)

  • 17 years ago

    by Brittany C

    I think that it is great. Another 5/5 from me.

  • 17 years ago

    by Teria

    I don't think it needs changing.
    I think it's great how it is.
    "Yet, to feel those lips unto mine
    It will feel like heaven on its own
    When or if I choose love over death
    Will my finale be postponed?"
    ^ I loved that stanza, lots.

  • 17 years ago

    by Arcane Blondie

    I really liked this poem. like David said, it seems like you put a lot of thought into it, and it turned out really nicely.

    You asked about the poem of mine you commented on:

    It basically said that the person had anger and hate in them and life brought no relief to them, so things got so bad that they killed themselves and their friends that made it through the pain of losing their friend could never completely get over it. So, the Time of Never represents eternity, it was a way of saying that no one will ever get over the pain of someone they know commiting suicide.

    Hope that explanation helps...

  • 17 years ago

    by Vanessa

    Well written. i agree about the last two stnzas feeling a little forced, but the excellent word choice makes up for that. I couldn't come up with anything better. 4/5

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