What I've Been Told

I've been told so many things about myself

That, statistically, I should have died a newborn
or at best, be a semi-sentient mass of flesh

I've been told I'm a miracle
but I'm an atheist.

That I'm demonic
and I'm kind

That I'm saintly
and I'm ruthless

I'm hideous
I'm handsome

I've been told, repeatedly,
That I am a genius

But finding something I can use my smarts for
has been so hard

That I'm sweet, warm, and compassionate
that I'm bitter, distant, and non-empathic.

I'm not sure I see anything through
all this static.