Me, Myself, I and You?

by LockedInEternity   May 10, 2007


I used to see a day
That was always very bright
It always joined me in my journey
Far into the darkened night

Lifting up the sorrow feelings
That "I"may have made
Taking them all with it
As cheerful music played

"I" was used to relying
On "me" when times got rough
But "me" had gone away now
And "I" was not enough

My knowledge seeped through cracks
That were all made by "me"
The cracks had gotten larger
For the naked eye to see

My mind turned to an endless maze
Where all my days "I" spend
And everywhere "I" tried to turn
There's yet one more dead end

A daze of rotten sentiments
Endless supply of tears
"I" forgot all about "me"
State of confusion nears

"I" can't look in his eyes
Cause "me" just looks away
"I" wants to fall in love again
But "me" just wants to stay

An inner war beginning
The war of "I" and "me"
Why can't myself go back together
To the way it used to be

"I" go forward in illusion
While "me" gets held back in denial
Myself is still in same confusion
Stunned and vulnerable the while

Really messed up in my senses
It's going crazy in my mind
Searching for an answer
It seems "myself" will never find

"I" wishes "you" could help "me"
But "you" doesn't seem to know
The problem in this mystery
Is one "I" cannot show

Split in two emotions
That "I" and "me" had made
Makes sense to be confused now
When all had been portrayed

Please show "me" that it's wrong
Let "I" just once prevail
Myself just wants her happiness
She wants her mini fairytale

It's so hard to explain
What happened deep inside
When "I" and "me" are fighting
"Myself" just wants to hide

"I" hopes for back to normal
"Me" still perplexes "I"
Bewilderment bamboozles
My mind "you" mystify

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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by Karl Wild GG23

    I really enjoyed this piece because it was very unique and so very true. We often battle ourseleves without realizing it at the time. I really loved the way this was written with the "I" and "me" definately a 5/5 Fantastic job GG23

  • 16 years ago

    by Teria

    Whoa. At first I seen a few spots where "I" and "me" would sound better switched, but I realized they were completley different.

    I loved how you did this, though. Like, it was so unique, yet so not. If that makes sense. So many people have written poems like this, but not like this. They always speak of confusion in a different format, you spoke of it in your own format, creating a new, intresting,amazingly written piece. xD

    Keep it up

  • 16 years ago

    by Melpomene

    This piece was really long.Interesting none the less. I really didn't like the swearing in this piece I didn't think it was needed what so ever. I really don't like poems which hold so many "I's" and "Me's" sometimes it felt like I was reading the same part over and over again. Places were forced, although I did like the originality behind this poem, Unique in its very own way which is what caught my attention. None the less a good effort. 4/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Startle Me

    Wow, this is pretty darned long.
    Lol.
    But still.

    Your first stanza?
    Loved it.

    Third stanza?
    I was not enough.
    Hmm... quite a bit eccentric.
    But so am I.
    We're a perfect fit.

    For the naked eye to see
    That was a bit cliched.
    I liked that you described the eye
    As so it's not JUST an eye.
    But still...
    It kind of threw me off.

    My mind turned to a f u c k i n g maze
    Where all my days "I" spend
    And everywhere "I" f u c k I n g turned
    There's yet one more dead end

    I really don't like that stanza.
    If you're going to curse.
    Do it in a place where you're supposed to.
    You don't have to break a rule to do it.
    But other than that, the eff word just didn't fit with the poem.
    It was so mellow before and now it's about...
    eff-fing.

    Just like a mucky pelf
    Really forced dear.
    You should find another line for that.

    "I" can't look in his eyes
    Cause "me" just looks away
    "I" wants to fall in love again
    But "me" just wants to stay

    That was kind of random and didn't really fit in with the beginning of your poem.

    Seeing myself killing victims
    What victims, dear?

    If you ARE going to use the eff word.
    Don't put in in the same stanza
    It just becomes overused.

    Split in two emotions
    That "I" and "me" had made
    Makes sense to be confused now
    When all had been portrayed

    You should've ended your poem in that.
    That's a wonderful ending.

    Umm...
    Confusing.
    Random at parts.
    All in all, it was okay.
    It doesn't deserve a 5.
    But I WILL give it to you for effort :P

  • 16 years ago

    by fatal bliss is the best way to die

    I liked it maybe you can check out my poems maybe maybe not but your poem was good ~melissaraye~

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