A Promise

by Marc Ortiz   May 12, 2007


When I see your smile
My heart screams your name
Every time I see your eyes
Tears roll down my face

I promise I'll never leave you
Please give me a chance.. And I'll show you
I'll live to love you forever
I'll be there for you through it all

I will never leave your side
Wherever I go you're here beside me
You're here in my heart and soul forever...
You're my true love... Please tell me you'll stay

There are a million girls out there
But there's only one who exists in my eyes
I could spend my nights with each and every one of them
But there's only one who exist in my eyes

Since you've left.. The stars won't fall
I'm a lonely prince without a lovely mistress..
I promise I'll love you until I die
I'll fight for you until the end

I promise...
I'll be there you for through it all

*This is my 2nd love poem*
Please leave criticisms it will help me improve :)

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Of Sweet Insanity

    Very awesoe poem. I've always like rhyming is the ABCB pattern. That's just me. Also, I think I agree with sluvios but I like your poem a lot over all. Very sad.

  • 16 years ago

    by MischieviousMya

    Wow how beautiful! i loved every stanza! the flow was amazing, and you have a way with words =o]! thanx also =o]

  • 16 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    I really enjoyed the repeition you used in this, I thought it worked very well.
    Flow was good for the most part, but the fillers (I, you, and etc) sometimes disrupted it a little.
    Other than that however, this was beautifully and elegantly written.

  • 16 years ago

    by Vanessa

    Try not to use I, You, and yours so much, other than that, the flow was a little off, but for a love poem is was captivating, love poems don't really grab my attention, but this one did. 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Teria

    "Please give me a chance.. And I'll show you"
    ^ Was a bit long for the stanza.
    ^^ That was all through-out the poem, sweetie. The length ( syllables ) has a lot to do with the flow, but overall you did a great job. It was really, really sweet. :D
    Keep up the great work.

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