The Whispers in the Wind

by xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex   May 20, 2007


The keyboard's clacking away, but it's so loud I can no longer hear your voice above the sound.
The wind's blowing hard; I've forgotten what I was meant to say, though it'll be much harder once it's found.

I'm locked at the window, my face is a blur; I'm screaming at the world, yet the wind's so loud that no one cares to hear --
My heart is pounding like the drugs in your veins and my pupils are getting smaller, like those full of fear.

The purple sunset that's really your eyes, stare back at me with drowning look; you're in there by yourself, there's nothing I can do.
I'd love to save you, but the whispers in the wind state that you're too far gone and that your bad habits will stick to you like glue.

I'm pounding at the door, trying to capture the moment with far more than hope, but you've locked the door;
I promise, if you only save yourself, I'll give the wings to fly against the whispers, just hold so you can soar.

I'm locked at the window, my face is a blur; I'm screaming at the world, yet the wind's so loud that there's nothing anyone else can do;
My heart is pounding like the drugs in your veins, your very precious to me; I'm the only one that can help you, but the whispers tell me not to save you.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Miu

    It's so powerful. Imagery was amazing. Enjoyed reading this. Unique because it's just overwhelming. Loved your layout also!
    Keep up the amazing work! :)
    5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by HOLLYWOODxBANGBANG

    Aweh man! You made my poem with this title look like utter crap, lol. I love your descriptions and your imagery was great. There was one thing though, in the line .. "your very precious to me" 'your' should be 'you're' :]

    5.5
    <3

  • 16 years ago

    by Startle Me

    Your poems feel a little bit weird.
    They're not what I'm used to reading from you.
    Maybe it's because you always use
    A certain type of format.
    Lol.
    But still
    Your poems now are overwhelming.
    Your words are all over.
    Maybe you could erase some unnecessary words
    For example:
    Okay maybe not...
    You're telling a story.
    So it's kind of weird.
    But maybe you could space it out?
    Example:
    I'm locked at the window,
    my face is a blur;
    I'm screaming at the world,
    yet the wind's so loud that there's nothing anyone else can do;
    I know it looks weird.
    But right now.
    It makes me NOT want to read your poem.
    Sorry.
    Still...
    Although it was overwhelming to look it.
    It is a wonderfully written piece.
    5/5?