Strike 3!!!

by IMMORTAL PAIN   May 23, 2007


Torn like a broken wing of a dove,
destroyed like a 5 pound rock dropping on glass
left.. like everyone else has....
why always me? what have i done?
did i love you to much?
was i not fun?
tell me what i've done to deserve this pain
by doin this to me wat did u gain?
wat can i do? wat can i say?
wat can i buy? please tell me i pray.
ur my life... u got my heart.
u took it..and u broke it apart..
i loved u so much
but its now over for sure?
i changed for u i did wat u preffer
but im still not good enough
not even for u
im no good for anyone
this i know is true
this aint the first time its happened..
this is time 3
u break me for nothing?
like im just any he
i did u all so much
i showed u my all
jus like the leaf of the tree. i will fall...
i fell.. noone picked me up.. im turning into dust..
nothing to do left but sit here and rust
my love has been betrayed 3 times in a row...
strike 3 thats it.. now i must go...
now i must sit here and live in this pain
hopefully theres someone who can lift me again..
unlike the 3 of u!

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Latest Comments

  • 14 years ago

    by DarkCrystalbtrfy

    W.O.W. very good write! And I love how you put the three strikes part, it really emphises the meaing of the poem. I think you have really taken the saying of '' writing poetry is not about writing about what everone knows, but writing about what they know and putting it in a diffrent light'' and made it your own.
    bravo again!

    6/5

  • 14 years ago

    by Steady Stereotype

    To be completely honest, the lack of punctuation, capitols and fully spelt words was a totaly turn off. ^^;;

    Though I enjoy your imagery that you expertly spun together with a handful of obvious, undisguised words and ideas. You had a faulty flow, and a sort of tense in places that almost seemed to be close to Shakespearian times.

    I loved the concept of the poem, and everything made sense, even with a few sprinkles of riddles you put in there. Well Done. x)

  • 16 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    Very good poem with a lot fo talent. i am sorry you have been through this and i hope you do get lifted back up again. i hope you fnid your happiness. take kare and keep writing xxxx

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