Grandpa

by bleeding limegrenn   May 28, 2007


You gave me every thing I've ever wanted
your love
your friendship
the power to live

with the loss has brang every one down
slowly trying to regang,recharis the memories

not losing my self to depression
because every time you cut it gets deeper
i would end up being with you in the end
bring even more people down

if it wouldn't hert anyone
i would be with forever
and for always

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Debbie

    "with the loss has [brought] every one down
    slowly trying to [regain],[reminisce or cherish] the memories"

    "if it wouldn't [hurt] anyone"

    Other than those grammatical errors, I'd like to review this work with better illustrations in the future.

  • 16 years ago

    by Kaila

    I'm sure this poem means a lot to you
    and it was an okay write for me
    I think to improve you could use more imagery

  • 16 years ago

    by Marc Ortiz

    *Sorry about that. I forgot something*

    i would be with forever
    and for always
    (I would be with you/him always and forever)

  • 16 years ago

    by Marc Ortiz

    This is sad. :( but anyway.. there are some erors in the poem.

    if it wouldn't 'hert' anyone
    hurt?

    And just a suggestion.

    i would be with forever
    (I would be with always and forever)

    Anyway I really don't like short poems but I like this one you really expressed a lot in this poem well done.

  • 16 years ago

    by xxSnow Angelxx

    Sad...yet good job..got your thoughts for him well across through this work
    but last stanza hert=hurt ,and then a few other errors too...but all over...fair job!
    kp writing!
    xxPoojaxx

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