All My Tomorrows

This is a horribly long poem, so this is a warning :) Hehe...I found it worth writing...and I hope you find it worth reading! That is unless you get bored half way through and close this window :) hehe anyway I wrote this for a contest...where there were parts specified..so I had to illustrate a life of some sort. Thank you for readon and please comment!!! Thxx Bye..
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All My Tomorrows By: Run Out Of Words

"Hello, who are you?
Have you come to take me home?
Mama & Dad have died too,
I hope you won't leave me alone"

Words whispered my an innocent child,
Living amidst a valley.
Dark, cold, bloody and wild,
My home was merely a broken trolley.

One day I had come home,
And all was red.
The window open next to a bloody stone,
And then I saw blood on the bed.

Mommy dead,
With blood seeping through her head.
Daddy dead,
Leaving so many words unsaid.

No relatives no brothers,
What was I to do?
Left on the streets like the others,
Can you imagine it?
You couldn't could you.

Rape, drugs, murder and all,
Much, much more than a child can bear.
I was young, and so very small,
I didn't have parents and barely anything to wear.

You would've thought,
That someone would've noticed.
That someone would have sought,
And found me if they focused.

But it's like no one cared,
As if I was never there.
A year went by but the sun still flared,
And at night by future still seemed bare.

Nothing had changed,
Nothing at all.
Stale bread for dinner,
And I slept wrapped in a shawl.

I stole money from strangers,
Shame it did bring.
And my conscience still lingers,
As my Mama's words used to ring.

"Sleep my child, sleep tight,
Mama will be there.
And when you wake in the middle of the night,
Mama will get you out of the scare"

Where was my mama?
Where was my bed?
How could I sleep,
When everyone I loved was dead?

I felt like a prisoner,
Behind bars and always chained.
I started to fear life over here,
Were all my tommorows going to be the same?

Then one rainy day,
A social worker or someone passed me.
They took me away,
Away from the valley so dark and filthy.

I was taken like a puppy,
A puppy from the road.
And placed in an orphanage,
Cold and alone.

I looked to the right,
And saw a teary eyed kid staring back.
I turned to left,
I had nothing that they lacked.

We were the same,
We were in this world alone.
We were the same,
We didn't have a place to call home.

All the orphanages combined,
They dumped us on a train.
They sent us God knows where,
In the middle of the rain.

The train drove west,
And I still remember the noise.
The chug chug chug was the best,
And I have memories of the toys.

My eyes were gleaming,
With tears of bliss.
And I wished upon everything I believed in,
That all my tomorrows would be like this.

Not after long,
I saw people starting to emerge.
All my friends were gone,
It was like a crazy search.

Playing with my white teddy bear,
I remember a lady say.
"That one, yes that one there,
She's the one I'll take away".

She was neat and she was tall,
She wore a silky white gown.
Her face was beautiful, petite and small,
Like she was modeling for a shop from the town.

Grabbed by my hand,
They escorted me out.
I stepped out and this woman,
Checked me about.

"Is she healthy?
Then why is she so thin.
I wonder how old she must be",
They couldn't even look at me within.

One thing they didn't see,
Was the torn and bloody heart.
That heart that beat inside of me,
Which was long ago torn apart.

So into a huge black car I went,
And as soon as I stepped inside.
I saw an old lady with her back so bent,
I quickly decided to hide.

She patted my back,
"Dear don't be afraid.
I'm your grandmother now",
On my heart those words weighed.

I reached a huge mansion,
White and tall.
And under the bright and beaming sun,
I saw the mother the father and all.

They smiled at me,
And they stretched their arms.
Soon I could breathe,
They had worked their charm.

Little did I know what laid ahead,
I should have known that sympathy is dead.
After I while I received beatings instead,
And all these memories have been burnt in my head.

I was an orphan,
I should've known.
You can only get so lucky,
Until you're pull back down and torn.

An elder brother who did things unheard of,
And a father who loved to beat me.
A mother who had in her heart not a drop of love,
This isn't what I'd call a family.

And oh that Grandma,
She was such a sweet little thing.
They killed her once she found out,
And my song she couldn't sing.

I couldn't tell anyone you see,
It just isn't right.
They've taken me in, they've given me food,
And now I have a place to sleep at night.

Once I tried and I had run to the station,
But nothing helped in vain.
I only was returned and faced humiliation,
Beaten until I grew familiar to the pain.

Five years of torture,
Five years of tears.
Five years I suffered,
It feels like more than just years.

It feels like its been an era,
Since I've just fallen into someone's arms.
Since I've just been able to love someone freely,
Without fearing being harmed.

Only fourteen years old,
I've been raped, drugged and beaten.
But now my story has been told,
And my wounds have started to be treated.

These wounds are on the inside,
They've taken up so much space.
That now the memories of before have started to hide,
I've forgotten them which brings me so much disgrace.

I can't remember, I can't remember her face.
My mother her lullabies, of them I have no trace.
I can't remember, I can't remember his face,
All those memories have suddenly been replaced.

All my tomorrows have been burnt,
Now all I can see is today.
I've stopped thinking of all the things that weren't,
And now all I think of is a chance to run away.

To run away from here,
From all of this tragic world.
To wipe away these tears,
And turn back into that little girl.

That little girl who smiled,
Who danced with no music on.
That little girl who ran wild,
And who knew no wrong.

The little girl who had no worries,
Because she was safe and sound.
And in a little box safely,
All her tomorrows were bound.

But now I have nothing,
I don't want yesterday and I can't have a tomorrow.
Every day is basically the same,
Each just adds one more pinch of sorrow.

So I'll live this life,
What do you think?
I don't have a choice,
I'm living on the brink.

Maybe in a day or two,
Maybe even in a year.
I may just fall of the edge,
And then I can be rid of all these tears.

And somewhere back,
Far far down the road.
All my tomorrows,
Under the ground they were sowed.