This dream

by e LIZ a beth   Jun 7, 2007


This dream is a repetition
a constant configuration of bad thoughts
a vivid description of nothing clear
and a scream that has no sound

its an inconsistent battle of fear
a plague that has no end
a painting with out color
and a silhouette drawn in white

this dream is like a crime scene
with out the yellow tape
a mystery that cant be solved
and the door you cant seem to open

a cliche line in a story tale
its the dust you cant get clean
the broken window that can't be fixed
and the pen that has no ink

this dream is like a doorway
that leads to nothing new
the light bulb that just wont turn on
and the friend you haven't met

this dream's to clear to be unreal
this dream wont let me wake
this dream is not a dream at all
to me this dream is life

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Tricky Daze

    Hi dear,
    I liked teh concept in this materpiece,so powerful words and great explanations it includes..That'S what it made it that awesome..and I would like suggest some things If you would like help

    First..It would be best if you capitalize the begining letters on each lines

    Second...its=It's

    Other than that
    You did an amazing job
    Keep it up,
    Laura

  • 16 years ago

    by Georgi

    Hey,
    I really liked the description in your poem, the language you used was good. All of the different descriptions of how you see and understand the dream, it was detailed and flowed nicely.
    I have a suggestion though, i like your style of writing and i think it, especially in this poem, would be really effective if you used an abab rhyme scheme, it would perfect the flow, but i think it works well either way, it was just a suggestion =]
    Take care
    Geo
    xoxoxox

  • 16 years ago

    by Debbie

    This piece was rather nicely written and worthy of note. It further kept me interested until the concluding line--I think it lacks a coherent ending. I, nevertheless, never failed to enjoy reading this thoughtful piece about Life. The metaphors, on the whole, are very conducive to the poem's presentation.

    Nice work, nonetheless. 'twas quite pleasurable to read. All the best and take care. ~Debbie

  • 16 years ago

    by Karl Wild GG23

    This poem is fantastic and the imagery throughout is amazing, I could picture everyline in my head so clearly. I loved how you talked about the dream in the poem relating to life and how it can sometimes be so empty. Amazing poem 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by BECCA lessTHANthree

    I like this poem alot.. especially the structure of the whole thing.. its very familiar.. lol :D hehe i love you.. and i LOVE the last line its amazing.. but i think that you should word it differently .. i dont know it sounds weird well not weird.. it just .. idk whatever.. :D