One day I actually met Santa Claus
He's just like everyone says
He's round generous and jolly
He's a pro at Simon Says
But there's one thing people have failed to mention
And that's that old Saint Nick
Had suicidal intentions
I tried to talk him out of it
But he wouldn't listen to me
Works not getting easier
As he grows older and older
And the loads are getting heavier
But this is the weirdest part of this
After he pulled out a cigarette
He whispered something in my ear
"Do you think you can handle this?
Drop of gifts, feed the dear?"
"I'm in need of a vacation and I fear
If I stop working"
"The work will go overflowing
But let me tell you something
If this job gets to you"
"I keep a knife beside the laundry"
So that was it
He grabbed a bag
A ticket, passport and a magazine
He left me lots of 'Reindeer Seed'
I have no clue how to run this
I stand absolutely no chance
What the hell do I do now?
Do I make the gifts in advance?
How do I know what people want?
How do I get the reindeer to listen?
Stupid Donner keeps kicking my bottom
I've had this job for two weeks
I can't take anymore!
I have no clue how Santa does it!
How could he remain so calm,
How does he keep his knife from getting coated?
I think there's only one way out of this
I am going to get that knife
Beside the laundry, in the closet
The ending is so powerful. The funniest line in the poem is:
-I keep a knife beside the laundry"- I didn't expected it.
Great one, so funny.
Keep up, 5/5.
